Daily Dilbert

A woman brought an old picture of her dead husband,
wearing a hat, to the photographer.

She asked the photographer if he could remove the
hat from the picture.

He convinced her he could easily do that, and asked
her what side of his head he parted his hair on.

"I forget," she said. "But you can see that for yourself
when you take off his hat."

Pokemon: Coughing Koffing!

[They find a wild Koffing]
Ash: Pokeball, go! Yeah, I caught... Koffing!
Brock: Uh oh, Koffing's coughing!
Misty: Let's go to the PokeCenter.

Nurse Joy: Coughing is bad.
Ash: No, this is a good Koffing!
Nurse Joy: I mean COUGHING.
Ash: Ahhh... *falls over*

[Team Rocket intro...]
Meowth: Hand over your Pikachu!
Koffing: *coughs* Koffing koffing! *cough*
Meowth: Who are you??
Koffing: Koffing koffing koffing.
Meowth: Uhh... can you stop coughing?
Ash: No, he's talking.
Meowth: Ahhh... *falls over* I forgot he was a Koffing...
Ash: Koffing! Use your COUGH ATTACK!
[Koffing coughs]
Team Rocket: Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off agaaiin!!...

Nurse Joy: Koffing's all better now.
Ash: Thanks.
[The heroes march on with their new Koffing. Who knows what will happen next? Watch next episode...]

Late one night during bad weather, the following was heard over the radio at an airport control tower:
Helicopter Pilot: "Tower, I'm holding at 3000 feet over Heli-pad 1."
Second voice: "OH NO! I'm holding at 3000 over that pad!!"

Helicopter Pilot: "You idiot! You're my co-pilot!"

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest
town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote:

Dear Hotel,

I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He
is well groomed and very well behaved. Would you be
willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me
at night?

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who
said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years.
In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels,
bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls.
I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the
night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never
had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your
dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will
vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too.

Daily Dilbert

shienanigns: sorry
shienanigns: hey...i have a question.....
shienanigns: i have a lot of questions cuz ium a really daft person
gengar56: just ask the question already!!
shienanigns: ok...
shienanigns: uh....
shienanigns: OMG i forgot
shienanigns: o wait

"You see I come from a time way back in the ninteen hundered and seventies
When computers were used for two things
You either go to the moon or played pong"

"you didn't hear? are you blind?!"

gengar56: i have to get in the habit of using these smilies =]
enFinite 3k: yip =]

enfinite 3k: check now
gengar56: toolazy
enfinite 3k: lol
gengar56: too lazy to type a space either
enfinite 3k: metoosoiwilljusttalklikethisfortherestoftheday
gengar56: whyonlytoday?whatabouttomorrow?
enfinite 3k: goodpoint,illdoiteverydayfromnowon

Profile 6/29:

A three year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left was on the right foot.
She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet."
He looked up at her with a raised eyebrow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom, I know they're my feet."

If tomorrow is going to be twice as cold as it is today, and if today is 0 degrees, how cold will it be tomorrow?
"This employee should go far, and the sooner the better"
"He has a knack for making strangers immediately"
"He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room"
"A photographic memory but with the cap over the lens"

MOM TAUGHT ME RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of that carpet!"

MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'll knock you into next week!"

MOM TAUGHT ME LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why!"

MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT HYPOCRISY:
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times-don't exaggerate!"

MOM TAUGHT ME IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about!"

MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone!"

MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT WEATHER:
"It looks like a tornado went through your room!"

Nine out of ten Americans agree that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine.
Colin Mochrie

Was in 6/13 profile:
One day I noticed my sister wasn't wearing a watch. When I asked her about it, she replied, "I don't need a watch. At home there's a clock in every room, and in the car there's a clock on the dashboard."

Knowing my sister's an avid shopper, I inquired, "Well, how do you tell time when you're shopping?"

"That's easy," she replied. "I just buy something else and then look at the time printed on the sales receipt."

Taken off profile 6/12:
"You know, it's at times like these when I'm trapped in an
airlock with an alien and about to die of asphyxiation in
deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young!"

"Why, what did she tell you?"

"I don't know, I didn't listen!"

Current profile:
"You know, it's at times like these when I'm trapped in an
airlock with an alien and about to die of asphyxiation in
deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young!"

"Why, what did she tell you?"

"I don't know, I didn't listen!"

Talk to my bot. He's designed to answer Cybiko questions but can talk about anything.

I cancelled defi.tk. I couldn't think of a good use for it. This site is basically everything for me. By the way, want to see my Cybiko site?

It's been a long time since I've updated this little site. I decided I'll post anything interesting here, much like my AIM profile. Here's my current AIM profile (someday it will be gone and replaced by something else):

electrical windmill
instead of using wind, is powered by electricity, generating electricity. electrical bills have risen with the use of this windmill. we do not see how both of them are related becaused a windmill is presumably supposed to produce free electricity.

world's smallest refrigerator
tests have shown that it does keep food cold. tests were done in the winter. we have also discovered that you can completely stop of the spoiling process of food by using plastic or imitation food.

genius
extraordinary intellectual and creative power