MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your
father and I spent on braces, that's the biggest
smile you can give us?"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've
discovered, you still could have written!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Can't you paint on
walls like other children? Do you have any
idea how hard it is to get that stuff off
the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, if you aren't
hiding your report card inside your jacket,
take your hand out of there and show me."

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the
stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball
cap like the other kids?"

MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb
followed you to school, but I would like to
know how he got a better grade than you."

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But it's your senior
picture. Can't you do something about your hair?
Styling gel, mousse, something...?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I
catch you throwing money across the Potomac,
you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story. Now tell
me where you've really been for the last forty
years."

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud
that you invented the electric light bulb. Now
turn it off and get to bed!"

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you
think you have to go, young man, midnight is
past your curfew."

Phobias

Amathophobia: The fear of dust.

Anananany: The inability to stop spelling
'banana' once you've started.

Anatidaephobia: The fear that wherever you
are, a duck is watching!

Androphobia: The fear of men.

Angoraphobia: The fear of soft sweaters and
rabbits.

Anthropophobia: The fear of human beings.

Archibutyrophobia: The fear of peanut butter
sticking to the roof of your mouth.

Eonaphobics: The fear of transvestites.

Friendorphobia: The fear of being asked "Who
goes there?"

Friggaphobics: People who fear Fridays.

Genuphobia: The fear of knees.

Graphophobia: The fear of writing.

Heortophobia: The fear of holidays.

Iophobia: The fear of rust.

Katagelophobia: The fear of ridicule.

Lyssophobia: The fear of insanity.

Peniaphobia: The fear of poverty.

Phobaphobia: The fear of fear itself.

Phobia: What you have left over after you drink
two out of a 6-pack.

Phronemophobia: The fear of thinking.

Pognophobia: The fear of beards.

Quadriphobia: The fear of 4-way stops and not
knowing who goes next.

There are no giants in this land
No one to stand against His mighty hand
No need to be afraid,
No need to run away
There are no giants,
No giants in this land
No Giants by Michael Priebe

Como el carne de burro,
Comes el carne de burro,
Comemos el carne de burro.
La balada del carne de burro por Lawton Pybus

Case Against Iraq

Bush said Hussein has broken every pledge he made to the United Nations since Iraq was defeated after invading Kuwait in 1990.

"Saddam Hussein has defied the United Nations 16 times -- not once, not twice, 16 times he has defied the U.N.," Bush said. "The U.N. has told him after the Gulf War, what to do, what the world expected and 16 times he's defied it."

"people are smarted than that"
Tom R.
It's a reflection of witty minimalism, a pugnacious discontinuity, if you will, that stresses transition and diminishes totality. It's a synergistic interaction that is, possibly, a conscious separation of geometrical perimeters, but more likely a resonant reverberation of a compressed, almost Byzantine, inventiveness.
Architectural Bachelor Digest

CNN.com - Bush challenges U.N. to 'show some backbone' - September 14, 2002

A man is giving a speech at his lodge meeting. He
gets a bit carried away and talks for two hours.

Finally, he realizes what he is doing and says;
"I'm sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at
home."

A voice from the back of the room says, "There's
a calendar behind you."

----

There is a new virus going around called WORK. If
you receive any sort of WORK, whether via e-mail,
Internet, or simply handed to you by a colleague,
do not open it. Those who have opened WORK have
found that their social life is deleted and their
brain ceases to function properly.

If you do encounter WORK via e-mail or are faced
with any WORK at all, purge the virus by sending
an e-mail to your boss with the words 'This is too
much for me, I'm going out for a soda. This better
not be here when I get back.'

Your brain should automatically delete the WORK. If
you receive WORK in paper document form, simply lift
the document and drag the WORK to your trashcan.

Send this message to all your friends in your address
book. If you do not have anyone in your address book,
then the WORK virus has already corrupted your life!

"As I said before, jready is stupid."
Tom
"as i haven't said before, tom is stupid"
jready

A Coke Please

I've always ordered beverages one simple way: "A Coke,
please."

Lately, though, this hasn't seemed to work. Waitresses
now often respond, "I'm sorry, we don't have Coke. We
have Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Mr. Pibb."

Tired of listening to the long list of soft drinks, I
thought I'd make life easier. So one day I simply asked
the snack bar clerk at a movie theater for a "dark,
carbonated beverage."

The young man behind the counter chuckled and asked,
"Sir, would you like a cylindrical plastic sucking
device with that?"

"Pick your nose with one eye!"

DNA: deoxyribonucleic acid
ATP: adenosine triphosphate
pelicula=film

My boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other
day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that
morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small
sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his
office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found
that someone had taped a note to the sign that said.
"Your wife called, she wants her sign back!

Favorite books

G.K. Chesterton and several other literary figures were
once asked what book they would prefer to have with them
if they were stranded on a desert island.

"The complete works of Shakespeare," said one writer
without hesitation.

"I choose the Bible," said another.

"How about you?" they asked Chesterton.

"I would choose Thomas' Guide to Practical Shipbuilding,"
replied Chesterton.

I made a program in 5 seconds with Visual Basic! QuickJot (a readme is included)