Tuesday, October 22, 2002
Sunday, October 13, 2002
Saturday, October 05, 2002
Sunday, September 29, 2002
MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your
father and I spent on braces, that's the biggest
smile you can give us?"
COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've
discovered, you still could have written!"
MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Can't you paint on
walls like other children? Do you have any
idea how hard it is to get that stuff off
the ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, if you aren't
hiding your report card inside your jacket,
take your hand out of there and show me."
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the
stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball
cap like the other kids?"
MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb
followed you to school, but I would like to
know how he got a better grade than you."
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But it's your senior
picture. Can't you do something about your hair?
Styling gel, mousse, something...?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I
catch you throwing money across the Potomac,
you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"
JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story. Now tell
me where you've really been for the last forty
years."
THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud
that you invented the electric light bulb. Now
turn it off and get to bed!"
PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you
think you have to go, young man, midnight is
past your curfew."
father and I spent on braces, that's the biggest
smile you can give us?"
COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've
discovered, you still could have written!"
MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Can't you paint on
walls like other children? Do you have any
idea how hard it is to get that stuff off
the ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, if you aren't
hiding your report card inside your jacket,
take your hand out of there and show me."
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the
stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball
cap like the other kids?"
MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb
followed you to school, but I would like to
know how he got a better grade than you."
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But it's your senior
picture. Can't you do something about your hair?
Styling gel, mousse, something...?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I
catch you throwing money across the Potomac,
you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"
JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story. Now tell
me where you've really been for the last forty
years."
THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud
that you invented the electric light bulb. Now
turn it off and get to bed!"
PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you
think you have to go, young man, midnight is
past your curfew."
Phobias
Amathophobia: The fear of dust.
Anananany: The inability to stop spelling
'banana' once you've started.
Anatidaephobia: The fear that wherever you
are, a duck is watching!
Androphobia: The fear of men.
Angoraphobia: The fear of soft sweaters and
rabbits.
Anthropophobia: The fear of human beings.
Archibutyrophobia: The fear of peanut butter
sticking to the roof of your mouth.
Eonaphobics: The fear of transvestites.
Friendorphobia: The fear of being asked "Who
goes there?"
Friggaphobics: People who fear Fridays.
Genuphobia: The fear of knees.
Graphophobia: The fear of writing.
Heortophobia: The fear of holidays.
Iophobia: The fear of rust.
Katagelophobia: The fear of ridicule.
Lyssophobia: The fear of insanity.
Peniaphobia: The fear of poverty.
Phobaphobia: The fear of fear itself.
Phobia: What you have left over after you drink
two out of a 6-pack.
Phronemophobia: The fear of thinking.
Pognophobia: The fear of beards.
Quadriphobia: The fear of 4-way stops and not
knowing who goes next.
Amathophobia: The fear of dust.
Anananany: The inability to stop spelling
'banana' once you've started.
Anatidaephobia: The fear that wherever you
are, a duck is watching!
Androphobia: The fear of men.
Angoraphobia: The fear of soft sweaters and
rabbits.
Anthropophobia: The fear of human beings.
Archibutyrophobia: The fear of peanut butter
sticking to the roof of your mouth.
Eonaphobics: The fear of transvestites.
Friendorphobia: The fear of being asked "Who
goes there?"
Friggaphobics: People who fear Fridays.
Genuphobia: The fear of knees.
Graphophobia: The fear of writing.
Heortophobia: The fear of holidays.
Iophobia: The fear of rust.
Katagelophobia: The fear of ridicule.
Lyssophobia: The fear of insanity.
Peniaphobia: The fear of poverty.
Phobaphobia: The fear of fear itself.
Phobia: What you have left over after you drink
two out of a 6-pack.
Phronemophobia: The fear of thinking.
Pognophobia: The fear of beards.
Quadriphobia: The fear of 4-way stops and not
knowing who goes next.
Sunday, September 22, 2002
Monday, September 16, 2002
Case Against Iraq
Bush said Hussein has broken every pledge he made to the United Nations since Iraq was defeated after invading Kuwait in 1990.
"Saddam Hussein has defied the United Nations 16 times -- not once, not twice, 16 times he has defied the U.N.," Bush said. "The U.N. has told him after the Gulf War, what to do, what the world expected and 16 times he's defied it."
Bush said Hussein has broken every pledge he made to the United Nations since Iraq was defeated after invading Kuwait in 1990.
"Saddam Hussein has defied the United Nations 16 times -- not once, not twice, 16 times he has defied the U.N.," Bush said. "The U.N. has told him after the Gulf War, what to do, what the world expected and 16 times he's defied it."
Saturday, September 14, 2002
"people are smarted than that"
Tom R.
It's a reflection of witty minimalism, a pugnacious discontinuity, if you will, that stresses transition and diminishes totality. It's a synergistic interaction that is, possibly, a conscious separation of geometrical perimeters, but more likely a resonant reverberation of a compressed, almost Byzantine, inventiveness.
Architectural Bachelor Digest
Tom R.
It's a reflection of witty minimalism, a pugnacious discontinuity, if you will, that stresses transition and diminishes totality. It's a synergistic interaction that is, possibly, a conscious separation of geometrical perimeters, but more likely a resonant reverberation of a compressed, almost Byzantine, inventiveness.
Architectural Bachelor Digest
A man is giving a speech at his lodge meeting. He
gets a bit carried away and talks for two hours.
Finally, he realizes what he is doing and says;
"I'm sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at
home."
A voice from the back of the room says, "There's
a calendar behind you."
----
There is a new virus going around called WORK. If
you receive any sort of WORK, whether via e-mail,
Internet, or simply handed to you by a colleague,
do not open it. Those who have opened WORK have
found that their social life is deleted and their
brain ceases to function properly.
If you do encounter WORK via e-mail or are faced
with any WORK at all, purge the virus by sending
an e-mail to your boss with the words 'This is too
much for me, I'm going out for a soda. This better
not be here when I get back.'
Your brain should automatically delete the WORK. If
you receive WORK in paper document form, simply lift
the document and drag the WORK to your trashcan.
Send this message to all your friends in your address
book. If you do not have anyone in your address book,
then the WORK virus has already corrupted your life!
gets a bit carried away and talks for two hours.
Finally, he realizes what he is doing and says;
"I'm sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at
home."
A voice from the back of the room says, "There's
a calendar behind you."
----
There is a new virus going around called WORK. If
you receive any sort of WORK, whether via e-mail,
Internet, or simply handed to you by a colleague,
do not open it. Those who have opened WORK have
found that their social life is deleted and their
brain ceases to function properly.
If you do encounter WORK via e-mail or are faced
with any WORK at all, purge the virus by sending
an e-mail to your boss with the words 'This is too
much for me, I'm going out for a soda. This better
not be here when I get back.'
Your brain should automatically delete the WORK. If
you receive WORK in paper document form, simply lift
the document and drag the WORK to your trashcan.
Send this message to all your friends in your address
book. If you do not have anyone in your address book,
then the WORK virus has already corrupted your life!
Thursday, September 12, 2002
Wednesday, September 11, 2002
A Coke Please
I've always ordered beverages one simple way: "A Coke,
please."
Lately, though, this hasn't seemed to work. Waitresses
now often respond, "I'm sorry, we don't have Coke. We
have Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Mr. Pibb."
Tired of listening to the long list of soft drinks, I
thought I'd make life easier. So one day I simply asked
the snack bar clerk at a movie theater for a "dark,
carbonated beverage."
The young man behind the counter chuckled and asked,
"Sir, would you like a cylindrical plastic sucking
device with that?"
I've always ordered beverages one simple way: "A Coke,
please."
Lately, though, this hasn't seemed to work. Waitresses
now often respond, "I'm sorry, we don't have Coke. We
have Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Mr. Pibb."
Tired of listening to the long list of soft drinks, I
thought I'd make life easier. So one day I simply asked
the snack bar clerk at a movie theater for a "dark,
carbonated beverage."
The young man behind the counter chuckled and asked,
"Sir, would you like a cylindrical plastic sucking
device with that?"
Tuesday, September 10, 2002
Monday, September 09, 2002
My boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other
day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that
morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small
sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his
office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found
that someone had taped a note to the sign that said.
"Your wife called, she wants her sign back!
day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that
morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small
sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his
office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found
that someone had taped a note to the sign that said.
"Your wife called, she wants her sign back!
Favorite books
G.K. Chesterton and several other literary figures were
once asked what book they would prefer to have with them
if they were stranded on a desert island.
"The complete works of Shakespeare," said one writer
without hesitation.
"I choose the Bible," said another.
"How about you?" they asked Chesterton.
"I would choose Thomas' Guide to Practical Shipbuilding,"
replied Chesterton.
G.K. Chesterton and several other literary figures were
once asked what book they would prefer to have with them
if they were stranded on a desert island.
"The complete works of Shakespeare," said one writer
without hesitation.
"I choose the Bible," said another.
"How about you?" they asked Chesterton.
"I would choose Thomas' Guide to Practical Shipbuilding,"
replied Chesterton.
Sunday, September 08, 2002
Monday, August 26, 2002
Saturday, August 24, 2002
The Truth About Nutrition
Here is the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than do the British or Americans.
The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Here is the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than do the British or Americans.
The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Friday, August 23, 2002
Thursday, August 22, 2002
Wednesday, August 14, 2002
Bumper Stickers
I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
EARTH FIRST! We'll strip mine the other planets later.
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you!
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her...or something like that.
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
EARTH FIRST! We'll strip mine the other planets later.
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you!
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her...or something like that.
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
Saturday, August 10, 2002
Responses If You Get Caught Sleeping on the Job
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved
about in that time-management course you sent me to."
"I was working smarter - not harder."
"Whew! I musta left the top off the liquid paper."
"Oh, I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on our mission
statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective
people!"
"I was testing the keyboard for drool-resistance."
"I was trying to remember where that difficult "Z" Key
was, and now it is indelibly imprinted on my brain, or
at least my forehead."
"I'm in the management training program."
"I'm actually doing a 'Stress Level Elimination Exercise
Plan' (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar
you made me attend."
"This is in exchange for the six hours last night when
I dreamed about work!"
"I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve
work-related stress. Do you discriminate against people
who practice Yoga?"
"Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured
out a solution to our biggest problem."
"Uh, hey, whaddaya expect... the coffee machine is
broken..."
"Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."
"Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't
wear off!"
"Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of
the workaholic!"
"I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact
lens without my hands."
"The mailman flipped out and pulled a gun so I was
playing dead to avoid getting shot."
"Geez, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day."
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved
about in that time-management course you sent me to."
"I was working smarter - not harder."
"Whew! I musta left the top off the liquid paper."
"Oh, I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on our mission
statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective
people!"
"I was testing the keyboard for drool-resistance."
"I was trying to remember where that difficult "Z" Key
was, and now it is indelibly imprinted on my brain, or
at least my forehead."
"I'm in the management training program."
"I'm actually doing a 'Stress Level Elimination Exercise
Plan' (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar
you made me attend."
"This is in exchange for the six hours last night when
I dreamed about work!"
"I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve
work-related stress. Do you discriminate against people
who practice Yoga?"
"Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured
out a solution to our biggest problem."
"Uh, hey, whaddaya expect... the coffee machine is
broken..."
"Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."
"Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't
wear off!"
"Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of
the workaholic!"
"I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact
lens without my hands."
"The mailman flipped out and pulled a gun so I was
playing dead to avoid getting shot."
"Geez, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day."
Friday, August 09, 2002
True Stories
When I remarked that this Friday is the longest day of the year, our receptionist looked puzzled and asked, "You mean it's longer than 24 hours?"
One of my Dad's retired friends spends nine months a year in Wisconsin and goes to Florida for the winter. One year, while he was in Florida, he got a call from the police. His neighbor in Wisconsin, who had a key, had entered his home to check that everything was okay with the house. The house was a shambles and he called the police to report a burglary. The police officer reported: "The house appears to have been ransacked."
My Dad's friend immediately bought a plane ticket and flew 1000 miles home to discover that the house looked exactly the way it always looks.
When I remarked that this Friday is the longest day of the year, our receptionist looked puzzled and asked, "You mean it's longer than 24 hours?"
One of my Dad's retired friends spends nine months a year in Wisconsin and goes to Florida for the winter. One year, while he was in Florida, he got a call from the police. His neighbor in Wisconsin, who had a key, had entered his home to check that everything was okay with the house. The house was a shambles and he called the police to report a burglary. The police officer reported: "The house appears to have been ransacked."
My Dad's friend immediately bought a plane ticket and flew 1000 miles home to discover that the house looked exactly the way it always looks.
Thursday, August 08, 2002
Sunday, August 04, 2002
Wednesday, July 31, 2002
A Horse With No Name
Written by Dewey Bunnell, ©1971
On the first part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz
And the sky with no clouds
The heat was hot and the ground was dry
But the air was full of sound
I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la ...
After two days in the desert sun
My skin began to turn red
After three days in the desert fun
I was looking at a river bed
And the story it told of a river that flowed
Made me sad to think it was dead
You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la ...
After nine days I let the horse run free
'Cause the desert had turned to sea
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
there was sand and hills and rings
The ocean is a desert with it's life underground
And a perfect disguise above
Under the cities lies a heart made of ground
But the humans will give no love
You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la ...
Listen to it...
Written by Dewey Bunnell, ©1971
On the first part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz
And the sky with no clouds
The heat was hot and the ground was dry
But the air was full of sound
I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la ...
After two days in the desert sun
My skin began to turn red
After three days in the desert fun
I was looking at a river bed
And the story it told of a river that flowed
Made me sad to think it was dead
You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la ...
After nine days I let the horse run free
'Cause the desert had turned to sea
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
there was sand and hills and rings
The ocean is a desert with it's life underground
And a perfect disguise above
Under the cities lies a heart made of ground
But the humans will give no love
You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la ...
Listen to it...
Saturday, July 27, 2002
monkiegirl0102: yeah
gengar56: yeah
monkiegirl0102: im gonna go now
gengar56: yeah
monkiegirl0102: ok....
gengar56: yeah
monkiegirl0102: but im not signing off.....
Auto response from gengar56: yeah
monkiegirl0102: ARRG....( shaking fist violently)...ur a
menaie bafeanie....but in a good way....,..like....a good
meanie bafeanie.....yeah....ok.....bye:-D
gengar56: yeah
monkiegirl0102: im gonna go now
gengar56: yeah
monkiegirl0102: ok....
gengar56: yeah
monkiegirl0102: but im not signing off.....
Auto response from gengar56: yeah
monkiegirl0102: ARRG....( shaking fist violently)...ur a
menaie bafeanie....but in a good way....,..like....a good
meanie bafeanie.....yeah....ok.....bye:-D
Wednesday, July 24, 2002
A woman brought an old picture of her dead husband,
wearing a hat, to the photographer.
She asked the photographer if he could remove the
hat from the picture.
He convinced her he could easily do that, and asked
her what side of his head he parted his hair on.
"I forget," she said. "But you can see that for yourself
when you take off his hat."
wearing a hat, to the photographer.
She asked the photographer if he could remove the
hat from the picture.
He convinced her he could easily do that, and asked
her what side of his head he parted his hair on.
"I forget," she said. "But you can see that for yourself
when you take off his hat."
Monday, July 22, 2002
Pokemon: Coughing Koffing!
[They find a wild Koffing]
Ash: Pokeball, go! Yeah, I caught... Koffing!
Brock: Uh oh, Koffing's coughing!
Misty: Let's go to the PokeCenter.
Nurse Joy: Coughing is bad.
Ash: No, this is a good Koffing!
Nurse Joy: I mean COUGHING.
Ash: Ahhh... *falls over*
[Team Rocket intro...]
Meowth: Hand over your Pikachu!
Koffing: *coughs* Koffing koffing! *cough*
Meowth: Who are you??
Koffing: Koffing koffing koffing.
Meowth: Uhh... can you stop coughing?
Ash: No, he's talking.
Meowth: Ahhh... *falls over* I forgot he was a Koffing...
Ash: Koffing! Use your COUGH ATTACK!
[Koffing coughs]
Team Rocket: Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off agaaiin!!...
Nurse Joy: Koffing's all better now.
Ash: Thanks.
[The heroes march on with their new Koffing. Who knows what will happen next? Watch next episode...]
[They find a wild Koffing]
Ash: Pokeball, go! Yeah, I caught... Koffing!
Brock: Uh oh, Koffing's coughing!
Misty: Let's go to the PokeCenter.
Nurse Joy: Coughing is bad.
Ash: No, this is a good Koffing!
Nurse Joy: I mean COUGHING.
Ash: Ahhh... *falls over*
[Team Rocket intro...]
Meowth: Hand over your Pikachu!
Koffing: *coughs* Koffing koffing! *cough*
Meowth: Who are you??
Koffing: Koffing koffing koffing.
Meowth: Uhh... can you stop coughing?
Ash: No, he's talking.
Meowth: Ahhh... *falls over* I forgot he was a Koffing...
Ash: Koffing! Use your COUGH ATTACK!
[Koffing coughs]
Team Rocket: Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off agaaiin!!...
Nurse Joy: Koffing's all better now.
Ash: Thanks.
[The heroes march on with their new Koffing. Who knows what will happen next? Watch next episode...]
Sunday, July 21, 2002
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest
town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote:
Dear Hotel,
I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He
is well groomed and very well behaved. Would you be
willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me
at night?
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who
said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years.
In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels,
bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls.
I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the
night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never
had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your
dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will
vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too.
town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote:
Dear Hotel,
I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He
is well groomed and very well behaved. Would you be
willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me
at night?
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who
said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years.
In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels,
bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls.
I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the
night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never
had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your
dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will
vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too.
Saturday, July 20, 2002
Monday, July 15, 2002
Sunday, July 14, 2002
Monday, July 08, 2002
Saturday, June 29, 2002
Profile 6/29:
A three year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left was on the right foot.
She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet."
He looked up at her with a raised eyebrow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom, I know they're my feet."
If tomorrow is going to be twice as cold as it is today, and if today is 0 degrees, how cold will it be tomorrow?
"This employee should go far, and the sooner the better"
"He has a knack for making strangers immediately"
"He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room"
"A photographic memory but with the cap over the lens"
A three year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left was on the right foot.
She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet."
He looked up at her with a raised eyebrow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom, I know they're my feet."
If tomorrow is going to be twice as cold as it is today, and if today is 0 degrees, how cold will it be tomorrow?
"This employee should go far, and the sooner the better"
"He has a knack for making strangers immediately"
"He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room"
"A photographic memory but with the cap over the lens"
Sunday, June 23, 2002
MOM TAUGHT ME RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of that carpet!"
MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'll knock you into next week!"
MOM TAUGHT ME LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why!"
MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT HYPOCRISY:
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times-don't exaggerate!"
"You better pray that will come out of that carpet!"
MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'll knock you into next week!"
MOM TAUGHT ME LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why!"
MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT HYPOCRISY:
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times-don't exaggerate!"
Thursday, June 13, 2002
MOM TAUGHT ME IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about!"
MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone!"
MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT WEATHER:
"It looks like a tornado went through your room!"
"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about!"
MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone!"
MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT WEATHER:
"It looks like a tornado went through your room!"
Was in 6/13 profile:
One day I noticed my sister wasn't wearing a watch. When I asked her about it, she replied, "I don't need a watch. At home there's a clock in every room, and in the car there's a clock on the dashboard."
Knowing my sister's an avid shopper, I inquired, "Well, how do you tell time when you're shopping?"
"That's easy," she replied. "I just buy something else and then look at the time printed on the sales receipt."
One day I noticed my sister wasn't wearing a watch. When I asked her about it, she replied, "I don't need a watch. At home there's a clock in every room, and in the car there's a clock on the dashboard."
Knowing my sister's an avid shopper, I inquired, "Well, how do you tell time when you're shopping?"
"That's easy," she replied. "I just buy something else and then look at the time printed on the sales receipt."
Wednesday, June 12, 2002
Tuesday, June 04, 2002
Sunday, June 02, 2002
I cancelled defi.tk. I couldn't think of a good use for it. This site is basically everything for me. By the way, want to see my Cybiko site?
It's been a long time since I've updated this little site. I decided I'll post anything interesting here, much like my AIM profile. Here's my current AIM profile (someday it will be gone and replaced by something else):
electrical windmill
instead of using wind, is powered by electricity, generating electricity. electrical bills have risen with the use of this windmill. we do not see how both of them are related becaused a windmill is presumably supposed to produce free electricity.
world's smallest refrigerator
tests have shown that it does keep food cold. tests were done in the winter. we have also discovered that you can completely stop of the spoiling process of food by using plastic or imitation food.
genius
extraordinary intellectual and creative power
electrical windmill
instead of using wind, is powered by electricity, generating electricity. electrical bills have risen with the use of this windmill. we do not see how both of them are related becaused a windmill is presumably supposed to produce free electricity.
world's smallest refrigerator
tests have shown that it does keep food cold. tests were done in the winter. we have also discovered that you can completely stop of the spoiling process of food by using plastic or imitation food.
genius
extraordinary intellectual and creative power
Friday, March 29, 2002
Tuesday, March 26, 2002
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